In Sri Lanka Tamil matrimony Dowry which is given to the bride by her parents takes important place. Its importance is not only in the wedding but also in the couple’s life after the marriage. If there is any family quarrel the wife used to say I didn't come with an empty hand, I came with so much of wealth to this family, if she did came as a bride with a good amount of dowry. If the girl didn't bring much dowry then the husband or his family can say to her that you came empty hand and because that our son is suffering.
There were plenty girls with much dowry and our stupid son didn't choose them instead took you for nothing and we all suffer. This dowry giving procedure is specially affecting the Jaffna tamil community very badly.
Normally in Tamil community a daughter used to get land, houses and materials from her parent which together are called as dowry. Sons used to get land and items as "Muthusam" and they are not earned by their parents but came from their grand parents. Those daughters who already married can't claim share in the property which are not earned by their parents but earned by their grand parents.
So as a Tamil bride when the marriage is arranged the groom's parents expect her to bring with her a home, gold jewellery and cash as dowry. Many groom's family are very serious about the dowry. Before the marriage they give a list of gold jewellery to be given to the girl. Some time they even ask for a single house in a plot and not apartment house. Many of the girls parents don't have a house to live after the marriage so they try to write the deed as they have living right till their death, but in many cases groom's parents object for this and because of this many wedding went in displeasure.
Even some groom's parents ask dowry to pay for their daughters from the bride to be. Some time they even ask money for the groom's parents too.
Even if the bride is a doctor she must pay the dowry, her profession will her just a plus point from the other girls. So when the girl come for marriage her education is not counted only what material she got is counted. Because of this many professional girls can't find suitable partner and living with tears. This makes social life problems too. She or her parents can't go to public functions as many bad mannered people use to ask them as "oh still not got married? Why can't she marry a widower or divorcee? And many more bad questions like this which makes them to hide from the community.
For a real man it is bad to request dowry by force an educated person must think about this as educated people are the one looking for dowry according to their education level.. If the girl's parent does have excess money or extra house then they can give what ever they want. if by force the parent give all their savings and their house, then how can they live in this world? How can they give support to their other children?
There are many gentlemen who are married in to big families with plenty girls and they gave their total life to help their wife's sisters to get married with dignity. These men are the gems of our community. If you an unmarried person make a decision that you will not to request dowry unless they give you when you wish to marry a girl. Tell your friends too to help our community by not forcing for dowry when they are going to marry.